What to Do When Your Child Doesn T Believe

By Natasha Crain

This weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to speak at the ReTHINK Student Apologetics Conference (at that place are more of these conferences coming—be sure to check out the link and learn nigh them!). I ever enjoy talking to parents after speaking and this weekend was no exception. One thing I realized this time was that ateveryoutcome where I've spoken in the last couple of years, there take been parents who share with me afterward that their child has recently said they no longer believe in God. Sometimes the kids are very young, other times they're well into their adult years. But the question parents bring to me is always the aforementioned: "What should I say to them?"

Later having a couple of long conversations with parents about this over the weekend, I wanted to write this post for others who may be struggling with the same thing. While this is, of course, a complex topic, these are 10 of the well-nigh important things I call up you can say to a child ofanyhistoric period when they say they don't believe in God anymore. For what information technology'southward worth, this isn't some kind of theoretical exercise for me. One of my ain young kids periodically struggles with this because God can't be physically seen. We take several of these conversations regularly.

1. "Give thanks y'all for sharing this with me."

There's no doubt it sends panic into a Christian parent's heart to hear the words, "I don't believe in God anymore" or "I'mnot sure if I believe in God anymore." But how we respond to our child at a time of spiritual crisis (whether they consider it a crisis or not) is disquisitional. If our reaction is fearful, angry, panicked or condemning, we quickly allow our kids know that expressing their doubts is non OK. Equally parents, we demand to be the safest identify in our children's lives to take conversations about God or they'll observe another place to go—likely a place where y'all wouldn't want to find them.

Simply saying, "Give thanks you lot for sharing this with me" lets them know you arehappy they came to you, that youwantto talk with them about their feelings, and that expressing dubiety in your home iswelcome. To be clear, that doesn't imply you lot're happy about the dubiousness itself, but that you lot're happy to be a safe place for these conversations.

2. "How have yous come to that conclusion?"

Considering we dear our kids so much and want to quickly bring them back to truth, there's a temptation to immediately first offering a response with reasons to believe in God. Only imagine for a moment that you get to the doctor when y'all don't feel well and the doctor starts prescribing medicine for a wide range of illnesses without offset asking yous questions or running tests. That, of course, would be crazy. In the same mode, if we don't know the source of our kids' doubts and how they've come to their conclusions about God, nosotros tin't accept meaningful conversations to specifically accost their concerns. Employ this question to go the conversation going and enquire equally many follow up questions as needed to be confident that yous truly understand what has led them to doubt God's existence.

3. "How long accept you felt this mode?"

This is a helpful diagnostic question because it lets you lot know the depth of the doubt. In some cases, doubt comes as a knee wiggle reaction to a specific event—for example, experiencing an unanswered prayer. When there is a single, proximate source of doubt, it tin can be easier to untangle considering you lot tin address that concern directly. Still, if information technology turns out your child has been doubting for years and you lot simply didn't know until the day he or she verbalized information technology, at that place's much more than history you'll need to dig into.

4. "If I could give you skilful show to evidence that God exists, would youwantto be convinced He exists?"

This is another helpful diagnostic question because it gives you a window into the eye of your child. Sometimes doubt comes from notwantingto believe—and the reasons for non wanting to believe in God can be many. If a kid says they wouldn't desire God to exist, information technology's probable a sign that either one) they have a misunderstanding of who God is (and wouldn't wantthatGod to exist), or 2) are engaged in behaviors they know aren't godly and would rather live according to their ain will. If a child admits that they wouldn't want God to exist, the most important chat you can accept is getting to the bottom ofwhythat'south the example. Simply so will you know where to take the discussion side by side.

For those whodo want God to exist just are doubting, get on to the next pieces of conversation.

5. "Having doubt is normal and nothing to exist aback of."

Ane of the almost hard aspects of having uncertainty nearly our faith is feeling that we're somehow abnormal—that if we experience doubt, we're not a "real" Christian. Simply doubt is actually a normal role of organized religion. When we don't have certainty about something, there isalways room for dubiousness. For instance, we can be confident that an airplane will safely evangelize u.s. to our destination, but we can't be sure of that, so some uncertainty should necessarily exist. EvenJohn the Baptistexperienced incertitude well-nigh Jesus existence the Messiah when circumstances got tough and he was in prison (encounter Luke 7:eighteen-30).

Sharing with your child that uncertainty is normal tin put them at ease for farther conversation. Rather than feeling something is incorrect with them (or wrong with God!) because they're doubting, they tin can feel hopeful that the doubt tin be resolved.

6. "Fortunately, God hasn't left the states to just guess whether or not He's there. He's given us plenty of evidence."

If you oasis't had some deeper conversations about faith with your kids, at that place'south a good chance they've never heard the idea that there could really exist evidence for His existence. In the minds of many kids (and adults), believing in God is simply a bullheaded choice—not something that is rooted in tangible evidence.Kids take to know this is non the example.Emphasize thattheymay not yet know the show, simply that it exists and you want to pb them through it. This simultaneously takes the pressure off of them to make a decision about God they may take thought was rooted simply in their own feelingsand sets you up to suggest the following point.

7. "Let'due south report the show for God's existence together."

If you read the concluding point and idea, "That's smashing, only I have no idea what to say…" accept no fear. Yous don't have to be a professional apologist (someone who knows how to make a example for and defend the truth of Christianity) to have this conversation. More than a lecture, kids demand y'all to comeaslope them.

There is an incredible new resource out this month to help you and your kids learn together. J. Warner Wallace and his married woman Susie have releasedGod's Crime Scene for Kids, which is a volume targeted at kids ages 8-12 and follows the topics of the adult bookGod's Criminal offense Scene.In the kids' version, the Wallaces employ a mystery around a box found in a grandmother's attic to demonstrate how we tin look at the evidence in the universe to describe conclusions about the existence of God. It's engaging, clear, and unlike annihilation else bachelor for this historic period group. There's fifty-fifty a website with free videos and worksheets.

For what it'south worth, I had the opportunity to endorse it, which I enthusiastically did. Hither's what I said: "God's Crime Scene is my go-to recommendation for anyone who wants to learn about the prove for God's existence. I was thrilled to hear that a kid's version was coming out, but honestly wondered how Det. Wallace was going to translate some of the more than challenging scientific and philosophical concepts into material for 8- to 12-year-olds. At present that I've read it, I'm blown away. This is brilliant! At that place's naught else similar it, and I'll be recommending it for years to come up."

If your kids are younger, the kids' version would still be helpful fory'allto read and get ideas for how to talk about the evidence at your kids' level. If your kids are older, they may already exist ready to piece of work through the adult version with y'all. If your kids are out of the firm, they may non be willing to report anything together, merelyyou lottin can study and hash out with them as the opportunity arises.

8. "If God didn't be, this is what reality would await like."

In my experience with skeptics who have come to my web log over the years, many have dumped the idea of God without because the necessary worldview implications of a earth without Him—many of which run very contrary to our most bones intuitions. This led me to devote the final six chapters inTalking with Your Kids about God to helping parents show their kids "The Difference God Makes." For example:

• What is the pregnant of life? (There is no objective significant in a globe without God.)
• Do nosotros really have free volition? (There is piddling reason to believe we really accept free volition in a world without God.)
• What should nosotros exercise with our lives? (There can be noshould—no moral obligations—in a world without God.)
• What is our responsibility to other people? (There are no objective responsibilities to others in a world without God.)
• How should we make sense of evil? (There can exist no objective right or wrong in a globe without God—moral evil cannot be.)

Why does biblical hope matter? (There is no ultimate promise in a globe without God.)

When nosotros show our kids the necessary implications of an atheistic world, information technology can help them run across how the bear witness for God is theall-time explanation for all the testify nosotros have.

9. "What questions practise y'all have about God?"

This is a question that should run alongside all the other points, and on an ongoing basis—whether your kids have doubts right now or not! The all-time way to avert a spiritual crunch later is by facilitating conversations around kids' questions regularly. For ideas on how to do incorporate an ongoing "questions night" in your family's life, meet my post How to Become Your Kids to Ask More Questions about Their Faith. As you work through the prior points with kids who arealready doubting, more questions will surely arise. Make information technology a way of life to continually give them a forum for addressing any faith questions are on their mind.

10. I love yous and God loves you.

Ultimately, regardless of how all the prior conversations go, kids need to know we love them and that God loves them through their questions. In reality, some kids will struggle for years. Merely knowing that their doubts will never dissever them from our love builds a relationship that will foster these important conversations for a lifetime.

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Original Blog Source: http://bit.ly/2fHeLpC

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Source: https://crossexamined.org/10-things-say-child-says-dont-believe-god-anymore/

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